Tiger: Hello, and welcome back! Today, we say goodbye to two contestants-
Billie: Hey, where's-
Tiger: Let me finish. Today, we say goodbye to two contestants at Tribal! Then next, in our Final 5, we see the contestants compete out in something a little more...slowed down.
Brock: Slowed down...is that codeword for Thalia?
Moira: Yeah, where is she?
Tiger: I don't know, crying somewhere? You guys know you she hasn't ever been safe, right?
Billie: Oh. She must be slow then.
Tiger: You guys just must be selfish wanting to hog the safety spotlight.
Brock: Don't get technical.
Billie: Besides, she's not going anywhere? She won't go home.
Tiger: That's true, but still. Wouldn't she want some actual sleep?
Moira: I guess. Did I ever mention how comfortable these chairs are?
Tiger: They are nice, aren't they? Jess bought them.
Tiger: But anyway, where is she right now? I thought she just went to get change-
Brock: What? Did you see a ghost?
Tiger: No-I think I heard your phone ring though, Brock.
Brock: Hell no.
Moira: Who is it? What is it?
Tiger: Turn around.
Moira: I don't wanna.
Tiger: Suit yourself.
Brock: That's a nice tree in the distance!
Tiger: You people are weird. Is no one noticing the person behind you all?
Billie: Meh.
Tiger: Real nice. Here she comes. Thalia?
Thalia: Hiya! I wanted a change. Hehe!
Tiger: You had that lying around?
Thalia: Yeah, and these adorable extensions!
Tiger: Thank you for finally turning up! We can begin the tribal council now then-
Billie: Hold on.
Tiger: What, Bill?
Billie: Rude.
Billie: Why am I stuck wearing this thing and she can be so....cute. *cringes*
Brock: Shush. I wanna see who goes home.
Billie: I thought you'd side with me. Those clothes are hideous.
Brock: Yeah, thanks. This is my favourite outfit. I bought it myself.
Billie: I guess you have horrible taste.
Tiger: Anyway-
Billie: It's still ugly.
Tiger: Are you finish?
Moira: I don't think she is-
*Moira is interrupted by Thalia's phone*
Thalia: Fine, fine, I'll get it.
Tiger: Thank heavens. I have an episode to host.
Thalia: Konnichiwa!
???: Hello darling.
Thalia: Who the plum is this?
???: You don't recognise my voice?
Thalia: Nope!
Diane: It's me, darling, Diane White.
Thalia: That woman who Brock was yelling at? Woo hoo!
Diane: I don't appreciate that foul language, young woman!
Thalia: Have fun for once! Watch some anime!
Diane: Disgusting, I don't want to 'party' or watch 'animals'. I prefer the finest things in life, dear.
Thalia: Same! Me too! Bye.
Diane: Put Brock on the phone, would you?
Thalia: Nope.
Tiger: Anyway, let's continue.
Brock: No one's creeped out that woman is stalking me.
Tiger: Not really, not much she can do. I mean, she's in the middle of the ocean.
Brock: She doesn't have an accomplice?
Tiger: Oh! She might...
Tiger: So, let's get on with the questions!
Brock: Yeah, could we maybe start a conversation with them?
Billie: A conversation? A CONVERSATION?! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?!
Brock: My friend...I don't know anymore...
Tiger: Thalia, let's start with you! Have you ever been safe? Looking at your position and how you're still not safe, do you think you're just a pawn in the whole game?
Thalia: Ummm, I don't think I've really been safe, but I'm not worried, desu! I
think my kawaii looks will help me get through this! I'm determined to
win HoH next week! They won't see it coming! Mwahahaha!!!
Brock: Uhm.
Tiger: That's awfully exciting but uh...*falls asleep*
Jane: Tiger! Wake up! *throws coffee*
Tiger: Oh holy plum! Christ, did you just make that?
Jane: Yeah, sorry.
Tiger: Brock, you wanted to say something.
Brock: Uh, then why do you say it out loud here, with other people watching?
Thalia: 'Cause I can!
Tiger: Anyway, Brock, You were at a point of safety for quite a few weeks. Why do you think this week brought you to your potential elimination?
Brock: I dunno... Perhaps the lack
of winning and winning partners has something to do with it. Or maybe I
should blame that weird stalker woman constantly distracting me with
phone calls. Diana was her name? Probably...
Tiger: Her name is Diane.
Brock: Yeah, Diana.
Tiger: Her name is Diane.
Tiger: So, Moira-
Brock: Diana.
Tiger: Her name is Diane. Moira, can you-
Brock: Diana.
Tiger: Her name is Diane.
Brock: Diana.
Tiger: Okay, I give up. I'm gonna go take a short break and I'll be back to send two of these idiots home.
Thalia: It won't be me, I know it.
Tiger: Let's check in with the others.
....
Lacey: Who do you think will go down there?
Matthew: I don't know, I'm just happy to be safe. I still think they'll be smart and send home Billie or Brock.
Lacey: I like Brock though.
Matthew: But he's a threat.
Lacey: So are you, so am I.
Sebastian: What are you young folk on about?
Lacey: The double eviction.
Sebastian: We all know our girl Billie is on a downfall.
Matthew: She yelled at Thalia! Of course she's going down.
Lacey: Nobody's mean to Thalia.
Sebastian: Can I speak to you alone for a moment, Lacey?
Lacey: Sure, what's up?
Sebastian: Is that a trick question? The roof. Oh oh! You mean, what do I want, right?
Lacey: You're learning.
Sebastian: I want to make a final two deal.
Lacey: I'm sorry, I can't.
Sebastian: Why not, sugar plum?
Lacey: First off, I'm not a sugar plum. Second, I promised Matty.
Sebastian: You youngsters are always breaking promises.
Lacey: I couldn't do that to him.
Sebastian: We both know if you made it to the final with him, he'd win.
Lacey: I don't believe you.
Sebastian: At least with me, you could win.
Lacey: You'd let me win?
Sebastian: Definitely.
Lacey: I'll think about it.
Matthew: Baby, you wanna sit on the deck?
Lacey: Sure, soon.
Sebastian: Think about it.
Lacey: Okay.
"Jess": I can't wait to be a star.
"Jess": Just like her, whatever her name is. That's my dream.
Matthew: What was that, Jess?
Jess: I didn't say anything, jerk.
Matthew: Yeah, sure.
"Jess": Would I lie to you?
.....
Tiger: Welcome back! I'm Tiger, and this is the double eviction that is sure to rock the competition. Now, let's continue with the questions! Billie!
Billie: Get it over with.
Tiger: Judgy plum. There's a point in time where you won both the HOH and POP in one week.
Now Matthew does the same. Do you think you will still win the game in
the end?
Billie: Maybe and maybe not... This double eviction can be a problem... So yes I do fear that I can go home...
Tiger: Don't we all. I know I fear going home...and being dragged back here because I can't physically leave.
Tiger: Moira, last but not least. You've been distant from the other contestants lately, and looking at
your track record, you're not winning anything. Why should the others
keep you in the game?
Moira: Honestly? While it would be nice to win, maybe, just maybe.
Tiger: Simple and mysterious. Is tonight the night?
Brock: I seriously doubt it, Tiger. Who names themself after an animal?
Tiger: What parent lets their child have the name 'Brock'. It sounds like something breaking.
Billie: If we're picking on names, what the hell name is Grape?
Tiger: Are you blind? He's purple.
Thalia: I like green grapes.
Tiger: Can we get on with the voting now? I have a piping hot hot chocolate waiting me-
Jane: Yeah, about that?
Tiger: Are you kidding me Jane? I hired you because you said you were smart! What happened now?
Jane: Well, one of the producers asked for it, and so I thought you wouldn't mind-
*someone screams*
Billie: Excuse me! I need to pee!
Jane: Shall I take her-
Tiger: Jane, she's not three.
Tiger: Hurry up, we're running on a time frame here! I thought you went before hand.
Billie: I did-
Moira: Hey, where'd that wall come from?
Tiger: What wall? That wall was always there. Shh.
...
Billie: I'm back. I need sleep.
Tiger: Can't help you there, my friend.
Billie: Friend...thank you.
Brock: Are you-that time of month?
Billie: What the hell Brock! Never ask a girl that question!
Thalia: That's why she woke me up last night! I thought it was strange.
Billie: I'm not strange! I'm just unique!
Tiger: Right, we're gonna take a short ad break. Again. When we come back, the voting will begin!
...........
Announcer: 8 contestants, all known for various reasons. A psycho host, a post-modern gay artist, the crazy cat lady, the child of whoever decided to name one of their children Chickadee, the girl with the green hair, and more.
Announcer: What's this pool you ask?
Announcer: I wonder if they're allergic to death? ......
Kidding of course. Kidding again.
Announcer: See what happens when a past Mole winner comes back to win once more....
Announcer: And witness true love...when three bodies become one.
Announcer: Last but not least, watch the contestants squirm trying to pee. Who am I you ask? Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream-
???: Hey! Stop hogging the microphone!
Announcer: Wendell, get out of here! I'm recording. Plum, that did too.
Wendell: Wendi, what are you doing? Are you killing without me?
..........
Tiger: Welcome back! Thalia is ready to cast her vote now, let's check it out!
Thalia: Yay!
Thalia: I vote to evict ______ because he/she's been winning lots of competitions! Plus you've been so scary lately! Kowai!!
Tiger: Moira, who's it gonna be?
Moira: I'd like to vote twice for _____. I think, out of all of us, he/she's the biggest threat.
Tiger: You really hate ____, huh?
Moira: I wouldn't say hate....hold on!
Moira: HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT PUTRID FRUIT BOWL ANYWHERE NEAR ME!!!!
Tiger: I bought that this morning-
Moira: Let me guess, you poisoned it too!
Tiger: Why would I do that?
*Moira runs off*
Tiger: Picky.
Tiger: Billie, how are you-
Billie: Don't you dare. I vote to eliminate ________ because I'm sure he/she needs to go home to his/her cat.
Tiger: Are you even sure they have a cat? It's awfully specific.
Billie: I'm leaving.
Tiger: Hello Brock. Please cast your vote.
Brock: I vote to eliminate _____ because I think that you have won too many comps already.
Tiger: Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
Brock: What?
Tiger: Do you realise what you just did, Brock? You voted for someone who won quote 'too many competitions', but do you know how many ____ has actually won? Not a single one. ____ has not won a single competition. Is 0 counted as too many to you? That reason to that contestant is just as horrible, or even worse than, voting for someone who didn't clean the dishes. Are you just scared?
Brock: Um, no. I didn't say anything.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.
....
Brock: Um, no. I didn't say anything.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.
....
Tiger: Yeah, sorry about that. Brock and I just had to have a little word, but everything's a okay now. Wait, Lacey?
Lacey: I was hoping no one noticed. Darn it. Busted.
Tiger: What are you doing?
Lacey: Matthew and Jess dared me to come and watch the tribal council. I did so well until you looked straight at me.
Tiger: Why do you want to watch it? It's not exciting, I just talk for a while and make it dramatic.
Lacey: Oh. I thought they're was fancy light shows.
Tiger: They're out of the budget range I'm afraid.
Tiger: Anyway, welcome back Brock!
Brock: You really hurt my image.
Tiger: It wasn't filmed.
Brock: So it never happened? Yes!
Tiger: It's time to see who's going? Ooh! We have a tie.
Jane: Sir, do you want me to fetch the rocks?
Tiger: Ooh, sir. I like it, and no, two are leaving, remember?
Jane: Oh right! *slips over, Billie and Brock turn to see her*
Brock: Tiger, you have horrible hiring skills.
Tiger: I know right.
Billie: Tony was hideous. Why did I ever date him? I hope all the other women hate him.
Tiger: You didn't hear? He's gay now, must have been your sensitive charm.
Billie: Yuck, I dated a gay guy.
Tiger: Anyway, while Billie cringes and Brock just frowns, I'll go back to this extremely long pause.................
Brock: Okay, I'm starting to frown even more waiting for you.
Tiger: ...........
Brock: Dude.
Billie: Okay, while this pause happens, can I take a nap?
Tiger: *shakes head*
Billie: Jesus Christ.
Moira: Isn't real.
Moira: Is he okay? Does he need a doctor?
Thalia: There's probably gonna be another commercial break soon-
......
Thalia: There's probably gonna be another commercial break soon-
......
Grape: Hello! My name is Grape, and I'll be hosting the after show tonight!
Thalia: Or that-
Grape: Shush, he'll reveal the two going home shortly.
Moira: He better, I'm hungry.
Grape: Better yet, look who I have with me! Initially cast on the third season of smash hit reality show The Locomotive, it's.....
Grape: Latarsha Dowdy!
Latarsha: Thanks for having me, Grape. I hope tonight is exciting.
Grape: It will be.
.......
Tiger: ....
Billie: I'm getting tired of this act. Literally, getting tired.
Tiger: And we're back! It's time to announce who will be leaving us.
Tiger: Brock, Billie, Moira or Thalia. Two of you won't see the sunlight (in this show) again.
Thalia: I'm scared!
Brock: I'm not.
Tiger: Okay, well let's save one of you first.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tiger: Thalia! You are safe.
Thalia: OMG what? I'm so happy! I could scream.
Billie: Please don't.
Tiger: So it's down to three. Moira...
Moira: I hope not.
Billie: Billie.
Tiger: Hey, that's my line.
Billie: Ha.
Tiger: Or Brock. Who will be going home?
Tiger: With a vote of 2-2, the votes are as follows.
1 vote to Billie.
1 vote to Moira.
1 vote to Moira.
Tiger: With 2 votes each, Moira and Billie, you have been eliminated from the game.
Brock: Oh no.
Moira: I guess I could see that coming. It's been great.
Billie: Oh plum. I've been hit. It's time for me to go, it's getting late and dark outside.
Thalia: It's been great talking with the both of you. I'll see you around.
Moira: Okay.
Brock: My original partner, gone. Why do I feel so horrible?
Tiger: Maybe because you voted for Moira for no reason?
Billie: I'll be fine, Brock. What was that, Tiger?
Tiger: Nothing.
Tiger: Billie and Moira, please make your way to the after show. Your time is up.
Tiger: Our final five is here.
....
Grape: So I was thinking yesterday, how great would a Locomotive remake be? I mean, without the real killing.
Latarsha: Yeah, I never knew my fate. I never died, and I don't know if I survived.
Grape: Maybe you skated through- hold on, here they come!
Grape: Fourth evictee, Billie McGhee! Welcome to the after show!
Billie: Thanks for having me. Camera Man Joe, nice to see you. *winks*
Grape: Please, take a seat.
Grape: Fifth evictee, Moira Duval! Welcome, please take a seat!
Moira: This place is swell. I could see myself stealing some of this furniture for my home!
Grape: I'll just ignore that.
Grape: Billie, Moira, welcome! To my left, the dazzling Latarsha Dowdy. The questions will begin shortly.
Latarsha: Dazzling? This old thing? I doubt it.
Billie: Seriously? Are all these hosts so easily impressed?
Grape: Anyway, let's begin! To both of you, what do you think of your time on the show? Did you enjoy it all or were there moments you just wanted to leave?
Billie: I mean, you get stuck looking at the same people for so long you get sick of it, but the people weren't all that bad.
Moira: Yeah, I enjoyed it. It's certainly different to my home life.
Grape: Want to elaborate on that statement? What's home life like, Moira?
Moira: I'd rather not.
Grape: Let me in one why you think you went home tonight? Any reason why it was you were eliminated over Thalia or Brock?
Billie: Let me lay this all down. Brock, how could you? I mean, why didn't you vote Thalia! Then it could have gone to a tie! I mean, why couldn't have Moira or Thalia voted for Brock! He deserves to go home, not me! Not me, I said! I want to win this, not go home! It's all Brock's fault, I tell you!
Grape: Okay, you hate Brock now, got it. Moira?
Moira: I'm sad, but Thalia deserves it.
Grape: Short and simple, nice.
Grape: Well, for now, that's it for my questions! I have two people here to see you both. Billie, your secret guest is first. Please, reveal yourself!
Billie: It's Tony, ain't it?
Grape: It's not Tony, don't worry.
Billie: Oh my god, you didn't.
Grape: Please welcome Grandma Flo McGhee!
Grandma Flo: Hello sweet-cheeks! I've been watching this whole time!
Billie: Grandma! You made it to see me! How are you?
Grandma Flo: I'm wonderful, dear. You look splendid, is that a new dress?
Billie: Oh Grandma, it's not, but thanks. It's great to see you.
Billie: Sit down, Grandma, this nice man is Grape.
Grandma Flo: We had a lovely chat over the phone about you.
Billie: You called her?
Grandma Flo: I called him. He told me I could come down and see you on your eviction night, sweet heart.
Billie: When did you call?
Flo: After the first episode aired. I supported you all the way.
Grape: She called me- well, she called Tiger, who passed the call to me- and told me all about you, her angel, she said. I was thrilled someone approached to be here.
Flo: Who's the other beauty beside you, Grape?
Grape: This is my accomplice, Latarsha Dowdy? Did you ever watch The Locomotive?
Flo: No. I'm not going to fill my soul with death.
Grape: I was a contestant, and I placed second. Latarsha here was on the third season, which was canned.
Flo: I'm terribly sorry, you could have died.
Grape: I nearly did.
Grape: Anyway, tell me a story about your Billie. I'd love to know.
Grandma Flo: Well, where to begin? Let's start at when she was nine.
Billie: Oh grandmother no!
Grandma Flo: Let me tell the story, darling. She was nine, a jumpy child she was. I thought she'd be really sporty, you know, those girls who play sport. When she first tried, she hit herself in the face and blacked out. Hehe, such a wonderful memory.
Billie: No, it wasn't. I was sent to hospital!
Grandma Flo: You said you liked the hospital!
Billie: I like to visit the hospital, but not when I'm in it!
Flo: You're such a weird child, you know that?
Billie: Grandma please.
Grape: Another story?
Billie: No, Grandma.
Grandma Flo: It'll be a quick one. When she was 12, she always wanted to go to this theme park, whatever it was called, but her parents wouldn't let her.
Billie: Oh god.
Flo: So I decided to take her one day she was staying with me. I thought, what harm could be done? Oh I was wrong. She went on the scariest ride, as she said afterwards, her own words, and she screamed so much. What's worse, it stopped. She was stuck there, in the air.
Billie: Thank you Grandma.
Grandma Flo: The nice man asked for a story, I couldn't turn that down.
Billie: You could. I turn down grandpa's cooking all the time.
Flo: I thought you said you were full-
Grape: Well, that was lovely.
Latarsha: Wasn't it? Oh sorry, I dazed off a bit.
Grape: Latarsha! Wow.
Grandma Flo: So you see the point I made?
Billie: Never be on reality shows? Never be eliminated?
Grandma Flo: No! Don't listen to yourself if your name is Billie!
Billie: Oh wow.
Grape: So, I'm glad you could make it Flo.
Grandma Flo: It was an honour being here.
Grape: Thank you very much. Latarsha?
Latarsha: I want a coffee so bad. What?
Grandma Flo: It was great to see you again, Billie.
Billie: You too, Gran. I'll visit next week, okay?
Tiger: Technically, you can't. Jury duties.
Grape: Jury duties. I hope you enjoyed your hug.
Latarsha: Coffee...coffee...hello....coffee...
Grandma Flo: Promise me you won't vote for that ignoramus Matthew to win. He needs to go home.
Billie: Finally, someone understands.
Billie: Bye Grandma.
Grandma Flo: Oh, they didn't tell you? I'm staying for the party. There's an outdoor oven here!
Billie: Oh grandma.
Billie: I'm gonna miss you a lot.
Grandma Flo: Me too, butternut.
....
Grape: Okay, we're back with Moira!
Latarsha: Woo.
Grape: Enthusiasm, please.
Latarsha: Woo.
Latarsha: Woo.
Grape: Enthusiasm, please.
Latarsha: Woo.
Moira: You called my father, didn't you?
Grape: Ding ding ding. You win. Look under your seat!
Moira: *looks under said seat* There's nothing here.
Grape: Please welcome....Adam Duval!
Latarsha: It's actually Aldrich.
Grape: That's what I said! Aldrich Duval!
Aldrich: Evening.
Aldrich: Hello, daughter.
Moira: Father. Nice to see you.
Grape: Welcome, Moira's father, everyone!
Latarsha: I think he wants to kill me.
Grape: Don't kid yourself, he's perfectly normal.
Latarsha: And I died.
Grape: So, Aldrich, any stories you'd like to tell about dear Moira?
Aldrich: Shall I? Moira dear?
Moira: Sure, it's not like I can stop you.
Aldrich: So, my darling child was born, and I hated her the moment she was born.
Moira: That hasn't changed.
Aldrich: So, she came out, and she was so pale, I thought she was dead.
Moira: I wish I was.
Moira: I wish I was.
Aldrich: But thank heavens she wasn't! I would've been speechless.
Moira: You still are, around me.
Aldrich: She's been a dream to care for.
Moira: Where's this going? I'm no dream.
Aldrich: But she is! When she was growing up, she didn't even have the want to drink blood!
Latarsha: Neither did I, but does that make me an angel?
Grape: Admit it, Latarsha, I bet you did.
Latarsha: Says the purple guy with purple everything! Is your, you know, down stairs hair?
Grape: Latarsha! This is a family-friendly show!
Latarsha: Yeah, families all have the you know whats!
Moira: Father! You treated me like _____ growing up!
Aldrich: Scared to swear, dear?
Moira: No, it's a family-friendly show. Unlike you.
Aldrich: You want to question my parenting? I did nothing but love you!
Moira: Draining the nanny's blood really helped me feel your love.
Aldrich: That wasn't me, sweets!
Moira: It was totally you! Or that time when you tried to drown me! Or burn me at the stake.
Aldrich: I did no such things!
Moira: Or the time you tried to poison me, or the time you fed me garlic in my sleep!
Grape: Shit just hit the fan.
Latarsha: And you told me off. I want some coffee! Jane!
Jane: What? I get more lines?
Aldrich: Someone needs to forget those lies.
Moira: You're weak, father.
Aldrich: Am I?
Moira: Ouch, this hurts.
Aldrich: So you like gothic music, huh? Hmmm.
Moira: All that for my favourite music. I'm outta here.
Grape: This is some crazy....stuff.
Latarsha: I'm gonna get some coffee.
Latarsha: That is messed up. Yuck.
*puking sounds*
Grape: The new rug!
Latarsha: Okay, so coffee time. I feel like I'm gonna faint for two reasons.
Latarsha: Here goes nothing. Barista lady, sup! Wait- is she crying?
Latarsha: Yep, she's crying. Hello?
Latarsha Clone: What? Hey.
Latarsha: Can I please have a-
Latarsha Clone: What the hell.
Latarsha: Are you my clone?
Latarsha Clone: Your clone? I'm the real deal, buddy.
Latarsha: You can't be-
Latarsha Clone: I work here, can you hurry up and order, freak?
Latarsha: You're not real, go away! Oh, I'll have a Black Coffee, thanks. Get out!
Latarsha Clone: I have to make your coffee.
Latarsha: Oh yeah. Then, leave!
Latarsha Clone: Whatever you say, clone.
Latarsha: Says you.
Latarsha Clone: Would you like sugar with that?
Latarsha: Wouldn't you like to know?
Latarsha Clone: I would, actually. I work here-
Latarsha: WE GET IT, YOU WORK HERE!
Latarsha Clone: No need to get angry. Jeez.
Latarsha: Where's my coffee?
Latarsha Clone: I'M GETTING THERE!
Latarsha: No need to get angry. Jeez.
Latarsha: Thanks so much, freak. You don't even wear my clothes.
Latarsha Clone: I WORK HE-
Latarsha: Yeah, we know, you work here.
Latarsha Clone: You're annoying, you know that right?
Latarsha: Why stalk me then?
Latarsha: Mmm coffee!
Latarsha: Why do I get the feeling I'm being followed?
Latarsha Clone: That would be me.
Latarsha: That was nothing, right? No one was talking, right?
Latarsha Clone: You must be kidding yourself.
Tiger: Stalking 101: Always Look the Part.
Latarsha: Wait, who was that?
Latarsha Clone: Nobody.
Latarsha: How do you know, brain?
Latarsha: This is a nice spot. I think I'll sit here.
Latarsha Clone: Should you? Would you rather get fat or get thin?
Latarsha: I don't see how sitting down once will change my weight drastically.
Latarsha Clone: Oh it will.
Latarsha: Whatever you say, freak.
....
Grape: Aside from that weird occurrence, let's get this moving.
Tiger: That'll be great. Everyone here is on their way.
Lacey: WOO! I got a hold of the microphone! Hi Mother! Hi Stella!
Tiger: That's enough of that. *crash*
Billie: Let's get this started!
Grandma Flo: That would be wonderful, darling.
Moira: Do I really have to sit in this dress?
Aldrich: Darling, I can't let you go nuts or whatever you call it.
Grape: LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
*hit the music*
Grape: ALL THE TIME!
Tiger: I'm here! Let's dance!
Grape: Good call.
Tiger: God this is awkward.
Jess: Shit. I forgot to get dressed. I was sleeping, okay!
Tiger: It's fine, there's a bathroom down the hall.
*tosses dress*
Jess: This old thing?
Tiger: Glad you remember it. *wink*
Grandma Flo: I have not danced in years. This dance floor looks fake.
Billie: Grandma, it is.
Grandma Flo: How dare they?!
Billie: Oh I see, it is horrible. Oh well. *dances*
Thalia: Thalia Derse in the house! Aha!
Billie: Oh god.
Brock: Billie. I'm sorry-
Billie: No, don't.
Moira: Brock! Glad you could join us!
Grandma Flo: I feel young again!
Billie: Me too, Gran, me too.
Lacey: Wow, this room got busy quickly. I'M HERE YA'LL.
Jane: Say cheese!
Lacey: Chee-Matt!
Matthew: Lacey! Let's dance!
Sebastian: I like what I see.
Billie: My grandmother is married!
Mya: I'm here! Oh, you all started without me.
*talking, no one notices Mya*
Mya: Fine. I'll dance alone.
Billie: Thalia, thank you for voting me out.
Thalia: What?
Billie: Thank you for sending me home.
Thalia: You're welcome? I don't know if you're being serious.
Billie: Of course I am! Silly.
Matt: Lacey, wait.
Lacey: What, Matt?
Matt: I'm sorry I stepped on your toes.
Lacey: I shouldn't have snapped. I'm sorry.
*they kiss*
Brock: Oh, get a room.
*continued kiss*
Brock: I'll just move my head this way-
*they continue to kiss*
Brock: I thought it would be over by now.
....
Grandma Flo: Up it goes! I miss making pizza.
Lacey: Oh, Billie, there you are.
Matthew: We wanted to talk to you.
Billie: What is it?
Lacey: We're terribly sorry you're eliminated.
Matthew: Yeah, you didn't deserve to go that much.
Billie: Don't feel bad. Someone had to go.
Flo: Nearly ready, Billie. Oh, your friends want some too?
Billie: Just because they competed with me, doesn't make them my friends! Does it?
Lacey: It does.
....
Brock: Woo!
*ring, ring*
Brock: Jesus Christ, I swear.
Brock: I better answer it, just in case it isn't the woman.
Tiger: Yeah, it could be me.
Brock: Why would you call me? You're in the same room, and I can see you!
Tiger: Now you can't.
Brock: Yeah, so the calling with the stranger woman on this show just got too creepy... So I've blocked her number. Problem solved!
*he puts his ear to the phone*
Brock: No comment. Get this camera out of my face.
Jane: Sorry.
*she drops the camera. Again.*
....
Grandma Flo: Breakfast pizza is served. Mmm.
Latarsha Clone: There goes my job.
Matthew: Billie, enjoy the rest of your life. I'll see you around.
Lacey: I will too. When this is finished, we'll hang out.
Billie: Thanks, both of you. I needed friends like you.
Lacey: Too bad I'm not really Lacey.
Billie: What was that?
Lacey: Oh, I just said, too bad I wasn't eliminated with you.
Tiger: Jess, there you are.
Jess: Here I am, yes.
Tiger: Would you do me the honour of having this dance? Like old times?
"Jess": It would be my pleasure.
Thalia: I know this is out of the blue, but will you slow dance with me?
Brock: Why?
Thalia: Take a chance.
Brock: Okay.
*Sway begins to plays, setting the tone*
Tiger: It's nice, this. You look just like Marina right now.
Jess: How could I not. I mean, I am.
Thalia: The final five, huh?
Brock: Uh huh. It all feels so unreal.
Thalia: Do you know what is unreal? Getting you to dance with me.
Brock: Oh shush. It's a one time thing.
Tiger: Oh right, you're gonna be a star.
Jess: One more week. See? I had everything planned. Death-
Thalia: Love?
Brock: What?
Thalia: Nothing.
"Jess": I knew I wanted to fake my death. Just look at the impact.
Tiger: It was fun though. Having the whole cast think you're really dead.
"Jess": For a moment, I was.
Tiger: What?
"Jess": I blanked out for a moment when I hit the floor.
Brock: This is actually pretty therapeutic. Thank you.
Thalia: No, thank you. I needed this.
Tiger: So this all ends in one week?
"Jess": Sadly, yes. I'll be off by then. I'll become some big star, but I'll always remember you.
Tiger: You better. It'll be hard without you, but I'll have Grape.
"Jess": And, I hear, Kyle and Lulu.
Thalia: Let's live the rest of the competition as friends.
Brock: Okay.
Tiger: What's this?
"Jess": A going away present. You said you always wanted to do the spin part.
Tiger: I meant that as a joke, but sure, why not?
Lacey: This is nice. I don't know what's going to happen after this show.
Matthew: You could always come live with me.
Lacey: I don't know, I'm a star. You're a lifeguard.
Matthew: Don't worry about it. When we win, we'll decide from there.
Lacey: When we win? How can we both win?
Matthew: We just will. Hunger Games, remember?
*cute dancing*
Singer: I can hear the sound of violins, long before it begins. Make me thrill as only you know how, sway me smooth, sway me now.
Grape: You know what I'm thinking?
Latarsha: You want more coffee too?
Grape: No. I think our job at this party is done.
Latarsha: Can we still get more coffee though?
Billie: I think it's time for me to go.
Moira: Me too.
Billie: Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's now the final five. It's getting closer to the end each day. Today, we say goodbye to Billie and Moira. Thank you for competing.
Who do you want to win?
Thanks for coming. Sincerely, Tiger.
Latarsha: No need to get angry. Jeez.
Latarsha Clone: Here you go, stalker.
Latarsha: How am I the stalker?! I was here first!
Latarsha Clone: Keep telling yourself that, buddy.
Latarsha Clone: I WORK HE-
Latarsha: Yeah, we know, you work here.
Latarsha Clone: You're annoying, you know that right?
Latarsha: Why stalk me then?
Latarsha: Mmm coffee!
Latarsha: Why do I get the feeling I'm being followed?
Latarsha Clone: That would be me.
Latarsha: That was nothing, right? No one was talking, right?
Latarsha Clone: You must be kidding yourself.
Tiger: Stalking 101: Always Look the Part.
Latarsha: Wait, who was that?
Latarsha Clone: Nobody.
Latarsha: How do you know, brain?
Latarsha: This is a nice spot. I think I'll sit here.
Latarsha Clone: Should you? Would you rather get fat or get thin?
Latarsha: I don't see how sitting down once will change my weight drastically.
Latarsha: Whatever you say, freak.
....
Grape: Aside from that weird occurrence, let's get this moving.
Tiger: That'll be great. Everyone here is on their way.
Lacey: WOO! I got a hold of the microphone! Hi Mother! Hi Stella!
Tiger: That's enough of that. *crash*
Billie: Let's get this started!
Grandma Flo: That would be wonderful, darling.
Moira: Do I really have to sit in this dress?
Aldrich: Darling, I can't let you go nuts or whatever you call it.
Grape: LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
*hit the music*
Grape: ALL THE TIME!
Tiger: I'm here! Let's dance!
Grape: Good call.
Tiger: God this is awkward.
Jess: Shit. I forgot to get dressed. I was sleeping, okay!
Tiger: It's fine, there's a bathroom down the hall.
*tosses dress*
Jess: This old thing?
Grandma Flo: I have not danced in years. This dance floor looks fake.
Billie: Grandma, it is.
Grandma Flo: How dare they?!
Billie: Oh I see, it is horrible. Oh well. *dances*
Billie: Oh god.
Brock: Billie. I'm sorry-
Billie: No, don't.
Moira: Brock! Glad you could join us!
Grandma Flo: I feel young again!
Billie: Me too, Gran, me too.
Lacey: Wow, this room got busy quickly. I'M HERE YA'LL.
Jane: Say cheese!
Lacey: Chee-Matt!
Matthew: Lacey! Let's dance!
Sebastian: I like what I see.
Billie: My grandmother is married!
Mya: I'm here! Oh, you all started without me.
*talking, no one notices Mya*
Mya: Fine. I'll dance alone.
Billie: Thalia, thank you for voting me out.
Thalia: What?
Billie: Thank you for sending me home.
Thalia: You're welcome? I don't know if you're being serious.
Billie: Of course I am! Silly.
Lacey: What, Matt?
Matt: I'm sorry I stepped on your toes.
Lacey: I shouldn't have snapped. I'm sorry.
*they kiss*
Brock: Oh, get a room.
*continued kiss*
Brock: I'll just move my head this way-
*they continue to kiss*
Brock: I thought it would be over by now.
Lacey: Oh, Billie, there you are.
Matthew: We wanted to talk to you.
Billie: What is it?
Lacey: We're terribly sorry you're eliminated.
Matthew: Yeah, you didn't deserve to go that much.
Billie: Don't feel bad. Someone had to go.
Flo: Nearly ready, Billie. Oh, your friends want some too?
Billie: Just because they competed with me, doesn't make them my friends! Does it?
Lacey: It does.
....
Brock: Woo!
*ring, ring*
Brock: Jesus Christ, I swear.
Brock: I better answer it, just in case it isn't the woman.
Tiger: Yeah, it could be me.
Brock: Why would you call me? You're in the same room, and I can see you!
Tiger: Now you can't.
Brock: Yeah, so the calling with the stranger woman on this show just got too creepy... So I've blocked her number. Problem solved!
*he puts his ear to the phone*
Diane: "Guess who."
Brock: "What?! How?!"
Diane: "I'm calling via the robot, if you're wondering..."
Brock:
"...................."Brock: No comment. Get this camera out of my face.
Jane: Sorry.
*she drops the camera. Again.*
....
Grandma Flo: Breakfast pizza is served. Mmm.
Latarsha Clone: There goes my job.
Matthew: Billie, enjoy the rest of your life. I'll see you around.
Lacey: I will too. When this is finished, we'll hang out.
Billie: Thanks, both of you. I needed friends like you.
Lacey: Too bad I'm not really Lacey.
Billie: What was that?
Lacey: Oh, I just said, too bad I wasn't eliminated with you.
Tiger: Jess, there you are.
Jess: Here I am, yes.
Tiger: Would you do me the honour of having this dance? Like old times?
"Jess": It would be my pleasure.
Thalia: I know this is out of the blue, but will you slow dance with me?
Brock: Why?
Thalia: Take a chance.
Brock: Okay.
*Sway begins to plays, setting the tone*
Tiger: It's nice, this. You look just like Marina right now.
Jess: How could I not. I mean, I am.
Brock: Uh huh. It all feels so unreal.
Thalia: Do you know what is unreal? Getting you to dance with me.
Brock: Oh shush. It's a one time thing.
Tiger: Oh right, you're gonna be a star.
Jess: One more week. See? I had everything planned. Death-
Thalia: Love?
Brock: What?
Thalia: Nothing.
"Jess": I knew I wanted to fake my death. Just look at the impact.
Tiger: It was fun though. Having the whole cast think you're really dead.
"Jess": For a moment, I was.
"Jess": I blanked out for a moment when I hit the floor.
Brock: This is actually pretty therapeutic. Thank you.
Thalia: No, thank you. I needed this.
"Jess": Sadly, yes. I'll be off by then. I'll become some big star, but I'll always remember you.
Tiger: You better. It'll be hard without you, but I'll have Grape.
"Jess": And, I hear, Kyle and Lulu.
Thalia: Let's live the rest of the competition as friends.
Brock: Okay.
"Jess": A going away present. You said you always wanted to do the spin part.
Tiger: I meant that as a joke, but sure, why not?
Matthew: You could always come live with me.
Lacey: I don't know, I'm a star. You're a lifeguard.
Matthew: Don't worry about it. When we win, we'll decide from there.
Lacey: When we win? How can we both win?
Matthew: We just will. Hunger Games, remember?
*cute dancing*
Singer: I can hear the sound of violins, long before it begins. Make me thrill as only you know how, sway me smooth, sway me now.
Grape: You know what I'm thinking?
Latarsha: You want more coffee too?
Grape: No. I think our job at this party is done.
Latarsha: Can we still get more coffee though?
Billie: I think it's time for me to go.
Moira: Me too.
Billie: Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's now the final five. It's getting closer to the end each day. Today, we say goodbye to Billie and Moira. Thank you for competing.
Who do you want to win?
Thanks for coming. Sincerely, Tiger.