Tiger: Welcome back to, High Hopes. Season 1.
Latarsha: What the plum, get this camera out of my face.
Jane: S-s-sorry.
Tiger: Don't be.
Latarsha: Excuse me, what?
Tiger: Oh nothing.
Grape: I'm back.
Latarsha: It's like you never left. Where were you?
Grape: Moira's father attacked a homeless woman.
Latarsha: Ouch. Well, I better clean this plate up.
Tiger: Yeah, we let the maid take a week break.
Latarsha: God dammit.
Grape: Is the challenge all set up for tomorrow?
Latarsha: Uh huh. All I had to do was put down a table and four chairs.
Grape: I suppose you could have made it somewhat exciting.
Latarsha: Why would I do that?
Grape: Fine, I give up.
Latarsha: Get out of the way, old man.
Sebastian: Okay, sorry ma'am.
Latarsha: What am I, old?
Sebastian: I'm sorry for speaking to you, queen diva.
Latarsha: Just get out of the way. I need to wash this dish up.
Matthew: I'm here, what's up?
Grape: Oh it's you.
Matthew: You? You? What's wrong with me, huh? I'm just a man on a mission.
Grape: Keep telling yourself that.
Matthew: So, Tiger called me down here?
Tiger: I have a mission for you.
Grape: Of course you do.
~~~~
*Lacey stares into the distance, sipping at her drink*
Thalia: Boo. Hello Lacey.
Lacey: Ahh! What the- Thalia, you scared the sense out of me.
Thalia: You had sense?
Lacey: I'm just going to ignore that and have a drink.
Thalia: I wanted to talk to you. We're the only girls left.
Lacey: That last tribal council really wiped the girls out.
Thalia: That's why I'm here. If either one of us wins this HOH, we'll save each other.
Lacey: Then it's definite that a guy will go.
Thalia: I wonder if I'll ever win something.
Lacey: Don't ever say that, you'll win something. Who knows, maybe you might win this whole competition?
Thalia: I doubt it.
Lacey: Listen, I'm sure there's plenty of reasons the jury would vote for you. You're unique, smart, fun.
Thalia: A floater?
Lacey: You have me, and I've been here for you since the start. I'm sure you have someone else.
Thalia: I suppose you're right.
Lacey: Listen, let's show the boys who's boss and win.
Thalia: Woo! I wanna win! I wanna win! Woo!
Lacey: Calm down, calm down. Let's not get too over excited.
Thalia: Okay, I get it. I hope this challenge isn't too challenging, I'm not that smart or physically built. I'm not the greatest at anything really, except maybe watching anime or cosplaying? I don't know, help me Lace.
Lacey: Help you with what?
Thalia: Could you help me find...a guy?
Lacey: A guy? You're adorable, any guy would be lucky.
Thalia: Not just any guy Lace....I want to go on a date with Brock.
Lacey: Wow, Brock. That's a tough one.
Thalia: I know, I know, but we danced! We danced!
Lacey: Brock and I did too, nothing happened.
Thalia: Yeah, but you're with Matt now, you're happy.
Lacey: Can I tell you a secret?
Thalia: Yeah, sure.
Thalia: Whatever it is, I will understand. I'm always here for you, Lace.
Lacey: Well, I, uh...I'm afraid I've been lying to you.
Thalia: What? You and Matt aren't in love?
Lacey: No, of course I love him. I'm not actually Lacey.
Thalia: WHAT? You're an alien!
Lacey: Of course not. I've been lying about who I am, my real name is-
~~~
*there are feet on the staircase*
Grape: Pass that bowl, I need to feed the dog.
Latarsha: There's a dog!? Where?
Matthew: Oh hi Brock, how are you?
Brock: Oh you know-
Brock: Horrible! You sent Billie home! She was my one friend!
Matthew: I didn't, I was safe. It was Moira and Thalia!
Brock: You should have saved us! You should have saved her!
Matthew: I'm sorry, I should have saved you and Billie, I get it.
Brock: No you don't! It's too late now! I'll make sure you go home this week!
Grape: Oi! Cut it out, the both of you! Stop it this instance!
Matthew: Please, I'll do anything. If you don't win HOH, I'll save you in the POP.
Tiger: I didn't tell you? There isn't one this week.
Brock: If I go to the jury this week, you'll be the last person I vote for to win!
Grape: Get off him! Both of you, cut this plum out!
*he breaks them apart*
Brock: *grumbles* Not like he was much of a fight.
Matt: *grumbles* Not like there was even a reason for the fight.
Grape: These contestants are so dramatic. Why can't they be friends?
~~~
Thalia: Hey! This actually looks like a real life forest! Hey! My horse just ran away.
Thalia: Nice, green man, nice. Don't hurt me, please. I'm just a youngster. Help me!
Thalia: Woo! Help! I'm so glad I found this quaint little town.
Peasant: Good Morning Thalia!
Thalia: Eee! Good Morning.
Thalia: These days go by so quickly- I can see the moon! Ooh! It has a face!
Lacey: What are you on about, Thalia? Are you having fun?
Thalia: Ugh! That spider bit me! Ouch, Lacey, that spider bit me.
Lacey: Spider, where?
Thalia: Oh, it's gone. Thank god. Here I come!
Lacey: Do you want to join me in a game of pool? It'd be a shame, especially since you know my secret.
Thalia: Not right now, I'm busy figuring out this riddle.
Thalia: What goes up, but never comes down? Hmm.
Lacey: Age.
Thalia: Moon? No, that's silly.
Lacey: The answer is age.
Thalia: OMG! Why didn't I notice it before, it's age!
Lacey: Thanks Lace? Or nah?
Thalia: The hills are alive! Oh, thanks Lacey by the way.
Lacey: Yeah, see, it wasn't your idea to begin with.
Thalia: I'm nearly there, one more clue!
*Sebastian arrives on the scene*
Sebastian: Can I join this lovely festivity?
Lacey: I don't see why not.
Lacey: Grab a cue, I was just about to start.
Sebastian: I have not played in quite a while, Missy.
Lacey: I'm just glad I won't be playing alone.
Sebastian: Is she alright? Thalia?
Lacey: She's playing some imagination land place.
Thalia: Take that, trolls! How do you like poison in your eyes?
Lacey: As I said, imaginative. Come on, Seb, pick your cue.
Sebastian: I'd prefer if you called me by my full name.
Lacey: Go on then, Sebastian Old Folks Rogers.
Sebastian: Not my middle name. It is Winston.
Thalia: Ooh! What's that shiny object in those bushes? Could it be-
Sebastian: Thalia? There are no bushes indoors.
Lacey: What did I say, she's making it all up with those glasses.
Sebastian: Right.
Lacey: *whispers* You've got this, yeah you haven't played before, just act it. Acting is what you should be good at, you grew up around her, of all people.
Lacey: Bingo! Got it. Look at that skill.
Thalia: BAM! Gotcha, catch em' all, I say.
Sebastian: Nice shot, Lacey. I couldn't have broken it better myself.
Lacey: Sure you could, you've lived a longer life!
Thalia: Look who has some extra life! This girl, the newly crowned Goblin Poker!
Lacey: Goblin Poker? Is that a card game for the trolls?
Thalia: No! I like poking goblins, so they named me honorary goblin poker master.
Lacey: Okay....got it.
Sebastian: So, Lacey, tell me more about your sister?
Lacey: *whispers* Shit.
Sebastian: You said she was your best friend, I'd love to meet her on finale night.
Lacey: Provided I make it that far.
Sebastian: Never mind the looming finale, what makes her so special?
Lacey: She's sweet, innocent, nothing like me at all. She's a book nerd, she used to work at the library here actually.
Sebastian: Might we suggest a free day off to see her?
Lacey: No! I mean, we can't. We're in a competition, silly.
Sebastian: Is it because she won't be there? She'll be-
Lacey: Where the hell is this coming from?
Thalia: I won't stand for this any longer! Ouch! Get off me!
Thalia: Much better. Wait a sec, my hair is saturated!
Thalia: I'll just put this in my gigantic never ending pocket and go and fix it.
Lacey: *mumbles* I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Help me.
Thalia: Can't I'm afraid, sister.
Lacey: Thals, please.
Thalia: This is between you and the beached whale.
Lacey: Oh, that's harsh. I thought you two were friends.
Thalia: That was a phase.
Matthew: Hello, who's this?
???: Is this Matthew Booker?
Matthew: Yes, this is he. Who is this?
???: An acquaintance. You can trust me.
Matthew: How do I know that you aren't some hacker?
???: Darling, aren't you a protective soul.
Matthew: Tell me your name!
Diane: My name is Diane White, and I'm on your side.
Matthew: Who do you work for?
Diane: I don't work right now, dear, I'm trapped on a boat.
Matt: Oh, that's terrible. I don't care.
Diane: Wait-
*Matthew hangs up*
Matthew: Last time I answer an unknown number.
Thalia: This lamp is truly remarkable. Reminds me of the goblins.
Lacey: Weren't you fixing your hair?
Thalia: Right! I'm gonna be one second.
Sebastian: The lengths you young ones take to have the perfect hair.
Lacey: Shush, Seb, don't be jealous.
Sebastian: As I was saying, when can I meet this sweet sister of yours?
......
Thalia: Ta da!
Lacey: Never!
Thalia: What? You don't like it. *Thalia begins to tear up*
Lacey: No, I love it. I was talking to the old man.
Thalia: Oh yay! What did he do now though?
Lacey: Don't try and think you'll be gaining my vote for anything.
Sebastian: I was just asking-
Lacey: No, you just want to break me apart so you can win!
Sebastian: I'm not going to win! I was just asking-
Matthew: What's happening here? Oh, nice hair by the way.
Thalia: Thank you! Hehe. I don't really know.
Matthew: Hey, Lace, what's up?
Lacey: The old man's being a jerk.
Thalia: I'm going to help them out.
Thalia: I'm ready to play pool now!
Lacey: Not yet, Thalia.
Sebastian: Why not right this instant! Lacey, you think you're the best, prove it.
Lacey: Old man, I swear to god I will walk you to your grave!
Sebastian: I'm not dying yet!
Thalia: This is nice. A nice, casual talk among friends.
Matthew: This is extremely awkward, I'm just gonna go-
Lacey: No, Matt, stay!
Sebastian: Yeah, we need a sane witness to drag her pink fake hair to court after she murders me.
Thalia: I'm sane!
Lacey: This hair is real!
~~~
Matthew: Any better after that fight?
Lacey: With you around I am.
Thalia: Hi Jane!
Lacey: Thanks for keeping me under control.
Matt: No problem.
Thalia: Jane?
*both faces move closer, closer, and closer*
Thalia: Yeah, I'm not witnessing this.
Jane: Me neither.
Thalia: You're a good friend, Jane.
Jane: Aww, thank you Alice.
Thalia: Wait, what?
*Thalia steals the camera from Jane*
Jane: I don't know your name, alright? You looked like an Alice.
Thalia: Well I'm not that liar!
Jane: Jeez, didn't know you-you hated her.
Thalia: She's horrible.
Jane: I didn't mean it, I swear.
Thalia: I don't care anymore, you called me Alice and I will not stand for it!
Lacey: Thalia, calm down.
Jane: Listen to your pals, Thalia. You don't want to be force evicted, my daddy owns this show.
Matthew: Ha, that's a laugh.
Thalia: I'm sure you're just bluffing because you're afraid.
Jane: I-I-I didn't mean to hurt your feeling, Thalia.
Thalia: Call me Miss Derse from now on, and maybe then I'll forgive you.
Lacey: She's pushing it too far.
Matthew: More like pushing it just enough.
*Thalia drops the camera*
Jane: Fine, fine. Okay.
*Thalia slaps Jane*
Jane: Yes, Miss Derse.
~~~
Latarsha: Good morning, world. Today's challenge is about to begin. I'm Latarsha Dowdy, and I'm tired, but nevertheless, I'm pumped to watch people play UNO! Yeah!
Latarsha: Please, contestants, dress in your athletic wear and head down to the gym room!
All but Matthew and Brock: Working out? Oh god.
Brock and Matthew: Woo! Working out!
Thalia: Oh this is gonna be fun. Not.
Latarsha: Lighten up, Thalia.
Tiger: Woah, Brock. Calm down. When they said 'athletic', they didn't mean throw your shirt off.
Brock: I have to go.
Latarsha: Come on down, Brock N.
Brock: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Latarsha: Welcome, the both of you.
Brock: These pictures are nice, did you buy them?
Thalia: I doubt it.
Latarsha: Thalia's right, I brought them with me after I stole them from- You don't need to know.
Latarsha: Here comes Lacey!
Lacey: Hiya!
Latarsha: Just sit down.
Lacey: Well, does anyone want to notice my adorable hair?
Brock: Adorable? What's new?
Latarsha: In walks in the oldie.
Sebastian: Hey! I'm not that old.
Latarsha: It's time for....UNO!
Sebastian: I'm sorry, what?
Thalia: That's what I was thinking.
Latarsha: You know, UNO.
Brock: Nah.
Latarsha: Anyway, the game will be played as follows. You will each take turns to place a card you hold in your deck-
Brock: I'm sorry, what?
Latarsha: Deck. I'm sorry, I have an accent. Anyway, the winner is the player who plays their last card, without anyone else having before them. Everyone understand?
All: Yes! We're ready.
Lacey: I'm not, but oh well. Let's play so I can win, right guys? Right?
Sebastian: No.
Latarsha: GOOOOOOOOOOO!
Thalia: That was stressful.
Brock: Yeah right.
Latarsha: So, they begin. They have six-
Brock: I'm sorry, what?
Latarsha: Let me finish before you yap on. You have S-I-X hours to complete this, which is quite a lot for a card game. Who do they think is playing, a bunch of oldies at poker night?
Sebastian: One oldie....
Lacey: *voice over* Focus, Stella. You can win this, you used to play games like these growing up, and you were the best. Wait no, you just beat Lacey a couple of times, but I'm pretty sure she just didn't try. She's like that, can't you tell? Focus. Focus.
Latarsha: They ponder their next moves-
Brock: I'd prefer if you didn't commentate, lady.
Latarsha: I'd prefer if I did, thanks, sir.
Thalia: I like it, it adds to the quality.
Latarsha: Thanks, Pinky number two.
Thalia: Uh.
Latarsha: Who's going to play the first card? Will it be the old guy, or the young one?
Brock: I'm so glad you learnt our names.
Latarsha: Or will it be the two pink haired girlies? Who knows?
Lacey: My cards are so lame.
Thalia: If I used this card now, I won't have it later.
Latarsha: Now I'm regretting choosing something actually athletic. Why is the young guy half naked?
Tiger: That's what I said. He likes to show off.
Brock: I do not! *flexes muscles*
Latarsha: You were right, Tiger.
Sebastian: I think I'll play this-
Brock: Wait what! It's not your turn.
Thalia: Screw it, down with the Yellow Skip.
Latarsha: Thalia skips Lacey.
Lacey: Shit. Well, thanks Thalia.
Thalia: NOOOOOOO! I meant it against Sebastian.
Sebastian: I do not sit next to you.
Thalia: Crap.
Sebastian: Yellow 1.
Brock: Wild. Blue is the new Yellow. Heads up, Thalia!
Thalia: Blue-
*loud crash in the distance*
Thalia: Blue 2.
Latarsha: *picks up phone* WHAT? I MEAN, WHAT? HOLY FISH AND CHIPS. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
Lacey: Wait, why is Latarsha yelling? Holy fish and chips?
Sebastian: We already knew she was weird, deary.
Latarsha: I'M COMING!
Thalia: Where's she going?
Latarsha: Challenge is over, camera man, follow me.
Brock: Who won? Me by default.
Lacey: Why would it be you?
Latarsha: I'm here, what happened again? My phone died before I could hear the explanation.
Lacey: Wait, someone died? I've gotta see this.
Sebastian: That's rather morbid.
Lacey: I will end you, old man.
Latarsha: What the hell-
Brock: Damn.
Thalia: I is speechless.
Brock: Where'd you learn that, Anime School?
Tiger: Well, as you can tell, the whole garage is a mess.
Grape: I didn't do nothing, I'm just here for symmetry.
Jane: *gasps, shivering in fear* I-I-I'm sorry.
Latarsha: Hold on, what's that in the pool?
Tiger: Funny story. Jane?
Grape: Jane, please. I'd love to watch you get fired.
Jane: I drove-I drove the car-the car into the p-p-pool. I was getting coffee, okay?
Latarsha: Let me get this straight, you drove a car through a window, and into a pool. You know there were rocks in front of that window, right?
Jane: I...I kinda moved them...yesterday.
Latarsha: You. You moved rocks. Hard to believe, but that's not the point. That was the owner's prize possession. Snake skin print and all.
Jane: I-I-I-I didn't mean it.
Brock: What's all the fuss...oh.
Lacey: What is it, Brock? What? How?
Sebastian: My dear lord!
Latarsha: Well, uh, it was all Jane.
Thalia: Jane? Ha ha ha ha ha...fool.
Lacey: This is tragic!
Tiger: Don't I know it, they trusted me! Now I let the stupid camera assistant drive a car.
Jane: I'm sorry, I get it.
Grape: Do you even have your license?
Jane: Uh....no.
Matthew: Well isn't that dandy.
Lacey: Matty! Where have you been?
Matthew: Sleeping. What else?
Latarsha: Well, I'm calling for a taxi. We're going to the library. Then we'll catch a flight back to the main house.
Lacey: Oh shit.
Sebastian: Oh goody.
Brock: Do you even know where the main house is?
Latarsha: Oh yeah, sure. It's, you know, in Main House Land.
Matthew: Yeah, great. Hopefully Tiger will be there, or at least Grape.
Latarsha: Actually, the two of them have business to attend to, but you'll have...Jess, or whatever her name is.
~~~
"Jess": Welcome, to the Library of Starlight Shores..or whatever.
Lacey: *grumbles* That's not it's name.
Matthew: Lacey, what's up?
Lacey: Oh, I just wanted to go home right now, but I guess not.
Brock: I think this is a public service, not changing into my normal clothes.
Lacey: I hate this.
Thalia: Me too. I miss my clothes.
....
Lacey: So, Sebastian, time to talk.
Thalia: Yeah! Time to open mouths!
Lacey: Not that far, Thalia.
Sebastian: Does the camera have to be on for this.
*Camera Man nods*
Sebastian: Well, I'm out. You can't tell me proof that your sister works here, then I'm out.
Lacey: Wow, judgy. You've been so rude this week.
Thalia: Yeah, so rude. Rude to 100%.
Lacey: Again, too far.
Sebastian: Unless someone tells me some evidence, I'm going to the police.
Thalia: Then I'll go to the police too, and sell you out as some freak.
Lacey: For once, not too far.
Random Woman: Yeah, Stella, right? She's here often, working and just reading.
Lacey: OMG! Thank you! Would you like an autograph?
Random Woman: Maybe when the real Lacey walks in.
Lacey: See? Sebastian, Stella is always here, and I have new evidence.
Thalia: Evidence? Oooh, this is like an investigation! Can I be the sidekick?
Lacey: Sure.
Lacey: Well, I'm going to walk away now. Sebastian, if you want to talk about conspiracy theories, look for someone else. I'm out.
Sebastian: You don't want to lie to my face any longer?
Lacey: Cut it out, old man. I'm out.
Thalia: Wait! Sherlock, I want to interrogate him further.
Lacey: That's fine. I'm sick of talking.
Tiger: Nice transparent tree.
Thalia: What do you know?
*grabs lamp*
Sebastian: Calm down.
*Thalia drops the lamp*
Thalia: I thought you were my friend, and then you attacked Lacey. That was rude.
Sebastian: I am deeply sorry, but I thought she was lying.
Thalia: You shouldn't think....about what she says. She wouldn't lie.
Sebastian: How do you know?
Thalia: Because I trust her, and I know that she may have problems, yes, but you shouldn't judge her for them. Lacey isn't perfect.
Sebastian: Fine, I won't start any more arguments, love.
Thalia: Detective Thalia, on the case.
Brock: Mhhmmm, interesting.
Random Woman: *types furiously*
Brock: You right there, lady!?
Thalia: Oh Brock. Were you listening in on us?
Brock: Of course...not.
...
Matthew: Hey, Jess, wait up.
Jess: Catch me when I reach the top.
Matthew: You could have turned around-oh whatever, exercise.
Jess: What is it?
Matthew: I've been meaning to talk to you.
Jess: As long as you don't grill me with questions.
Matthew: It's about the whole car incident.
Jess: Oh, that. Yeah?
Matthew: Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you weren't there. Where were you?
Jess: I knew someone would ask.
Matthew: What's wrong?
Jess: Last night, when all of you were either upstairs or downstairs, I was in bed, with a raging fever, and I just couldn't do anything about it. I just slept, and slept, and slept. I didn't even wake at the sound of the crash.
Matthew: That's horrible.
Matthew: I hope you're getting better, as least you can walk now.
Jess: Yeah, I'm getting there. I'll be okay soon.
Matthew: I hope so, I don't want you to be sick.
Jess: Aww, Matty.
....
Lacey: Okay, I'm alone. Time to call in for a chat with the sister.
Real Stella: Pick up, Lacey, I know you're probably sun bathing, but I need you right now.
Real Lacey: OMG SIS! Where are you?
Real Stella: Funny story, you forced me to be you on a reality show to gain popularity. Sorry, but you failed.
Real Lacey: WHAT? You're evicted?
Real Stella: No, I'm breaking cover. I've already told one person, and someone else is onto me.
Real Lacey: WHAT? How dare they.
Real Stella: I know, but I'm not holding up. This is the first time I don't want to be in a library.
Real Lacey: Honey, that's me everyday.
Real Stella: Can you promise you'll be there when I get voted out?
Real Lacey: Let me tan first, then I'll be right over.
Real Stella: I was right! You're holidaying!
Real Lacey: I'm sorry. My friends asked me to join them on their private beach.
Real Stella: Maybe I wanted to hang at the beach.
Real Lacey: You hate the beach!
Real Stella: I guess that's true.
Real Lacey: I gotta go, bye sis.
*she hangs up*
Real Stella: Bye.
....
Latarsha: It's time to board the plane!
Matthew: Where's that coming from?
Jess: No clue. Let's go.
Thalia: Why are you sitting next to me now?
Sebastian: I have no clue. Must have been the old brain of mine.
Thalia: Leave me alone.
Tiger: Welcome home! I've missed this house.
Latarsha: Wow, this place is so...oceanic.
Grape: That's the point.
Matthew: Aren't we gathered here for something important?
Lacey: The HOH maybe?
Matthew: That, right.
Jess: My eyes won't stay open, I think I need some more sleep.
Matthew: Are you okay?
Jess: No, seriously, I need to hold them open.
Brock: Just say my name now and we can all go to sleep.
Thalia: Your name? That's quite a statement, hottie.
Brock: Wait, what?
Thalia: Uh huh.
Lacey: So, I was ordering salmon on a bed of cress, when this absurd man-
Brock: Hey, Lacey, can we get the end of your stupid story.
Sebastian: Story? I nearly fell asleep.
Lacey: Hey!
Thalia: Tell me tomorrow morning, kay?
Lacey: Okay, fine. Continue with the ceremony then.
Tiger: As I was saying, the winner of a random draw to decide who was the HOH was..........
Grape: It was..............
Latarsha: The winner was...............
Tiger: Thalia and Lacey! Congratulations to the both of you!
Thalia: Woo! Who's the best first time winner? This girl.
Lacey: Yeah! Look at me now! I'm the queen.
Grape: Ahem, no, that's Beyonce.
Lacey: Shut up, I'm happy, okay?
Brock: Bravo.
Sebastian: They only won some silly young ones poll.
Brock: It was sarcasm.
*Matthew and Lacey kiss*
Jess: Seriously. Right now, they were that happy. Wow.
Matthew: Well done, Lacey.
Lacey: Thanks for that, Matt. *wink*
Brock: Congrats, Thalia. I'm happy for you.
Thalia: I'm happy for me too.
Thalia: I'm very happy for me.
Latarsha: Well I'm out. Where's the host bedroom?
Tiger: You mean the hotel? Down the road, to your left.
Grape: Latarsha, I'm coming too. Wait up.
Latarsha: You can walk.
Tiger: Well, there we have it. Lacey and Thalia claimed the safe spots, and so Matthew, Sebastian and Brock head to the tribal council, where two of them say goodbye to the competition.
Jess: Soon, however, everyone will be back, because soon, the finale will be upon us.
Tiger: And we will crown a winner.
Latarsha: What the plum, get this camera out of my face.
Jane: S-s-sorry.
Tiger: Don't be.
Latarsha: Excuse me, what?
Tiger: Oh nothing.
Grape: I'm back.
Latarsha: It's like you never left. Where were you?
Grape: Moira's father attacked a homeless woman.
Latarsha: Ouch. Well, I better clean this plate up.
Tiger: Yeah, we let the maid take a week break.
Latarsha: God dammit.
Grape: Is the challenge all set up for tomorrow?
Latarsha: Uh huh. All I had to do was put down a table and four chairs.
Grape: I suppose you could have made it somewhat exciting.
Latarsha: Why would I do that?
Grape: Fine, I give up.
Latarsha: Get out of the way, old man.
Sebastian: Okay, sorry ma'am.
Latarsha: What am I, old?
Sebastian: I'm sorry for speaking to you, queen diva.
Latarsha: Just get out of the way. I need to wash this dish up.
Matthew: I'm here, what's up?
Grape: Oh it's you.
Matthew: You? You? What's wrong with me, huh? I'm just a man on a mission.
Grape: Keep telling yourself that.
Matthew: So, Tiger called me down here?
Tiger: I have a mission for you.
Grape: Of course you do.
~~~~
*Lacey stares into the distance, sipping at her drink*
Thalia: Boo. Hello Lacey.
Lacey: Ahh! What the- Thalia, you scared the sense out of me.
Thalia: You had sense?
Lacey: I'm just going to ignore that and have a drink.
Lacey: That last tribal council really wiped the girls out.
Thalia: That's why I'm here. If either one of us wins this HOH, we'll save each other.
Lacey: Then it's definite that a guy will go.
Thalia: I wonder if I'll ever win something.
Lacey: Don't ever say that, you'll win something. Who knows, maybe you might win this whole competition?
Thalia: I doubt it.
Lacey: Listen, I'm sure there's plenty of reasons the jury would vote for you. You're unique, smart, fun.
Thalia: A floater?
Lacey: You have me, and I've been here for you since the start. I'm sure you have someone else.
Thalia: I suppose you're right.
Lacey: Listen, let's show the boys who's boss and win.
Thalia: Woo! I wanna win! I wanna win! Woo!
Lacey: Calm down, calm down. Let's not get too over excited.
Thalia: Okay, I get it. I hope this challenge isn't too challenging, I'm not that smart or physically built. I'm not the greatest at anything really, except maybe watching anime or cosplaying? I don't know, help me Lace.
Lacey: Help you with what?
Thalia: Could you help me find...a guy?
Lacey: A guy? You're adorable, any guy would be lucky.
Thalia: Not just any guy Lace....I want to go on a date with Brock.
Lacey: Wow, Brock. That's a tough one.
Thalia: I know, I know, but we danced! We danced!
Lacey: Brock and I did too, nothing happened.
Thalia: Yeah, but you're with Matt now, you're happy.
Lacey: Can I tell you a secret?
Thalia: Yeah, sure.
Thalia: Whatever it is, I will understand. I'm always here for you, Lace.
Lacey: Well, I, uh...I'm afraid I've been lying to you.
Thalia: What? You and Matt aren't in love?
Lacey: No, of course I love him. I'm not actually Lacey.
Thalia: WHAT? You're an alien!
Lacey: Of course not. I've been lying about who I am, my real name is-
~~~
*there are feet on the staircase*
Grape: Pass that bowl, I need to feed the dog.
Latarsha: There's a dog!? Where?
Matthew: Oh hi Brock, how are you?
Brock: Oh you know-
Brock: Horrible! You sent Billie home! She was my one friend!
Matthew: I didn't, I was safe. It was Moira and Thalia!
Brock: You should have saved us! You should have saved her!
Matthew: I'm sorry, I should have saved you and Billie, I get it.
Brock: No you don't! It's too late now! I'll make sure you go home this week!
Grape: Oi! Cut it out, the both of you! Stop it this instance!
Matthew: Please, I'll do anything. If you don't win HOH, I'll save you in the POP.
Tiger: I didn't tell you? There isn't one this week.
Brock: If I go to the jury this week, you'll be the last person I vote for to win!
Grape: Get off him! Both of you, cut this plum out!
*he breaks them apart*
Brock: *grumbles* Not like he was much of a fight.
Matt: *grumbles* Not like there was even a reason for the fight.
Grape: These contestants are so dramatic. Why can't they be friends?
Thalia: Hey! This actually looks like a real life forest! Hey! My horse just ran away.
Thalia: Nice, green man, nice. Don't hurt me, please. I'm just a youngster. Help me!
Thalia: Woo! Help! I'm so glad I found this quaint little town.
Peasant: Good Morning Thalia!
Thalia: Eee! Good Morning.
Thalia: These days go by so quickly- I can see the moon! Ooh! It has a face!
Lacey: What are you on about, Thalia? Are you having fun?
Thalia: Ugh! That spider bit me! Ouch, Lacey, that spider bit me.
Lacey: Spider, where?
Thalia: Oh, it's gone. Thank god. Here I come!
Lacey: Do you want to join me in a game of pool? It'd be a shame, especially since you know my secret.
Thalia: Not right now, I'm busy figuring out this riddle.
Thalia: What goes up, but never comes down? Hmm.
Lacey: Age.
Thalia: Moon? No, that's silly.
Lacey: The answer is age.
Thalia: OMG! Why didn't I notice it before, it's age!
Lacey: Thanks Lace? Or nah?
Thalia: The hills are alive! Oh, thanks Lacey by the way.
Lacey: Yeah, see, it wasn't your idea to begin with.
Thalia: I'm nearly there, one more clue!
*Sebastian arrives on the scene*
Sebastian: Can I join this lovely festivity?
Lacey: I don't see why not.
Lacey: Grab a cue, I was just about to start.
Sebastian: I have not played in quite a while, Missy.
Lacey: I'm just glad I won't be playing alone.
Sebastian: Is she alright? Thalia?
Lacey: She's playing some imagination land place.
Thalia: Take that, trolls! How do you like poison in your eyes?
Lacey: As I said, imaginative. Come on, Seb, pick your cue.
Sebastian: I'd prefer if you called me by my full name.
Lacey: Go on then, Sebastian Old Folks Rogers.
Sebastian: Not my middle name. It is Winston.
Thalia: Ooh! What's that shiny object in those bushes? Could it be-
Sebastian: Thalia? There are no bushes indoors.
Lacey: What did I say, she's making it all up with those glasses.
Sebastian: Right.
Lacey: *whispers* You've got this, yeah you haven't played before, just act it. Acting is what you should be good at, you grew up around her, of all people.
Lacey: Bingo! Got it. Look at that skill.
Thalia: BAM! Gotcha, catch em' all, I say.
Sebastian: Nice shot, Lacey. I couldn't have broken it better myself.
Lacey: Sure you could, you've lived a longer life!
Thalia: Look who has some extra life! This girl, the newly crowned Goblin Poker!
Lacey: Goblin Poker? Is that a card game for the trolls?
Thalia: No! I like poking goblins, so they named me honorary goblin poker master.
Lacey: Okay....got it.
Sebastian: So, Lacey, tell me more about your sister?
Lacey: *whispers* Shit.
Sebastian: You said she was your best friend, I'd love to meet her on finale night.
Lacey: Provided I make it that far.
Sebastian: Never mind the looming finale, what makes her so special?
Lacey: She's sweet, innocent, nothing like me at all. She's a book nerd, she used to work at the library here actually.
Sebastian: Might we suggest a free day off to see her?
Lacey: No! I mean, we can't. We're in a competition, silly.
Sebastian: Is it because she won't be there? She'll be-
Lacey: Where the hell is this coming from?
Thalia: I won't stand for this any longer! Ouch! Get off me!
Thalia: Much better. Wait a sec, my hair is saturated!
Thalia: I'll just put this in my gigantic never ending pocket and go and fix it.
Lacey: *mumbles* I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Help me.
Thalia: Can't I'm afraid, sister.
Lacey: Thals, please.
Thalia: This is between you and the beached whale.
Lacey: Oh, that's harsh. I thought you two were friends.
Thalia: That was a phase.
Matthew: Hello, who's this?
???: Is this Matthew Booker?
Matthew: Yes, this is he. Who is this?
???: An acquaintance. You can trust me.
Matthew: How do I know that you aren't some hacker?
???: Darling, aren't you a protective soul.
Matthew: Tell me your name!
Diane: My name is Diane White, and I'm on your side.
Matthew: Who do you work for?
Diane: I don't work right now, dear, I'm trapped on a boat.
Matt: Oh, that's terrible. I don't care.
Diane: Wait-
*Matthew hangs up*
Matthew: Last time I answer an unknown number.
Thalia: This lamp is truly remarkable. Reminds me of the goblins.
Lacey: Weren't you fixing your hair?
Thalia: Right! I'm gonna be one second.
Sebastian: The lengths you young ones take to have the perfect hair.
Lacey: Shush, Seb, don't be jealous.
Sebastian: As I was saying, when can I meet this sweet sister of yours?
......
Thalia: Ta da!
Lacey: Never!
Thalia: What? You don't like it. *Thalia begins to tear up*
Lacey: No, I love it. I was talking to the old man.
Thalia: Oh yay! What did he do now though?
Lacey: Don't try and think you'll be gaining my vote for anything.
Sebastian: I was just asking-
Lacey: No, you just want to break me apart so you can win!
Sebastian: I'm not going to win! I was just asking-
Matthew: What's happening here? Oh, nice hair by the way.
Thalia: Thank you! Hehe. I don't really know.
Matthew: Hey, Lace, what's up?
Lacey: The old man's being a jerk.
Thalia: I'm going to help them out.
Thalia: I'm ready to play pool now!
Lacey: Not yet, Thalia.
Sebastian: Why not right this instant! Lacey, you think you're the best, prove it.
Lacey: Old man, I swear to god I will walk you to your grave!
Sebastian: I'm not dying yet!
Thalia: This is nice. A nice, casual talk among friends.
Sebastian: Yeah, we need a sane witness to drag her pink fake hair to court after she murders me.
Thalia: I'm sane!
Lacey: This hair is real!
~~~
Matthew: Any better after that fight?
Lacey: With you around I am.
Thalia: Hi Jane!
Lacey: Thanks for keeping me under control.
Matt: No problem.
Thalia: Jane?
*both faces move closer, closer, and closer*
Thalia: Yeah, I'm not witnessing this.
Jane: Me neither.
Thalia: You're a good friend, Jane.
Jane: Aww, thank you Alice.
Thalia: Wait, what?
*Thalia steals the camera from Jane*
Jane: I don't know your name, alright? You looked like an Alice.
Thalia: Well I'm not that liar!
Jane: Jeez, didn't know you-you hated her.
Thalia: She's horrible.
Jane: I didn't mean it, I swear.
Thalia: I don't care anymore, you called me Alice and I will not stand for it!
Lacey: Thalia, calm down.
Jane: Listen to your pals, Thalia. You don't want to be force evicted, my daddy owns this show.
Matthew: Ha, that's a laugh.
Thalia: I'm sure you're just bluffing because you're afraid.
Jane: I-I-I didn't mean to hurt your feeling, Thalia.
Thalia: Call me Miss Derse from now on, and maybe then I'll forgive you.
Lacey: She's pushing it too far.
Matthew: More like pushing it just enough.
*Thalia drops the camera*
Jane: Fine, fine. Okay.
*Thalia slaps Jane*
Jane: Yes, Miss Derse.
~~~
Latarsha: Good morning, world. Today's challenge is about to begin. I'm Latarsha Dowdy, and I'm tired, but nevertheless, I'm pumped to watch people play UNO! Yeah!
Latarsha: Please, contestants, dress in your athletic wear and head down to the gym room!
All but Matthew and Brock: Working out? Oh god.
Brock and Matthew: Woo! Working out!
Thalia: Oh this is gonna be fun. Not.
Latarsha: Lighten up, Thalia.
Tiger: Woah, Brock. Calm down. When they said 'athletic', they didn't mean throw your shirt off.
Brock: I have to go.
Latarsha: Come on down, Brock N.
Brock: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Latarsha: Welcome, the both of you.
Brock: These pictures are nice, did you buy them?
Thalia: I doubt it.
Latarsha: Thalia's right, I brought them with me after I stole them from- You don't need to know.
Latarsha: Here comes Lacey!
Lacey: Hiya!
Latarsha: Just sit down.
Lacey: Well, does anyone want to notice my adorable hair?
Brock: Adorable? What's new?
Latarsha: In walks in the oldie.
Sebastian: Hey! I'm not that old.
Latarsha: It's time for....UNO!
Sebastian: I'm sorry, what?
Thalia: That's what I was thinking.
Latarsha: You know, UNO.
Brock: Nah.
Latarsha: Anyway, the game will be played as follows. You will each take turns to place a card you hold in your deck-
Brock: I'm sorry, what?
Latarsha: Deck. I'm sorry, I have an accent. Anyway, the winner is the player who plays their last card, without anyone else having before them. Everyone understand?
All: Yes! We're ready.
Lacey: I'm not, but oh well. Let's play so I can win, right guys? Right?
Sebastian: No.
Latarsha: GOOOOOOOOOOO!
Thalia: That was stressful.
Brock: Yeah right.
Latarsha: So, they begin. They have six-
Brock: I'm sorry, what?
Latarsha: Let me finish before you yap on. You have S-I-X hours to complete this, which is quite a lot for a card game. Who do they think is playing, a bunch of oldies at poker night?
Sebastian: One oldie....
Lacey: *voice over* Focus, Stella. You can win this, you used to play games like these growing up, and you were the best. Wait no, you just beat Lacey a couple of times, but I'm pretty sure she just didn't try. She's like that, can't you tell? Focus. Focus.
Latarsha: They ponder their next moves-
Brock: I'd prefer if you didn't commentate, lady.
Latarsha: I'd prefer if I did, thanks, sir.
Thalia: I like it, it adds to the quality.
Latarsha: Thanks, Pinky number two.
Thalia: Uh.
Latarsha: Who's going to play the first card? Will it be the old guy, or the young one?
Brock: I'm so glad you learnt our names.
Latarsha: Or will it be the two pink haired girlies? Who knows?
Lacey: My cards are so lame.
Thalia: If I used this card now, I won't have it later.
Latarsha: Now I'm regretting choosing something actually athletic. Why is the young guy half naked?
Tiger: That's what I said. He likes to show off.
Brock: I do not! *flexes muscles*
Latarsha: You were right, Tiger.
Sebastian: I think I'll play this-
Brock: Wait what! It's not your turn.
Thalia: Screw it, down with the Yellow Skip.
Latarsha: Thalia skips Lacey.
Lacey: Shit. Well, thanks Thalia.
Thalia: NOOOOOOO! I meant it against Sebastian.
Sebastian: I do not sit next to you.
Thalia: Crap.
Sebastian: Yellow 1.
Brock: Wild. Blue is the new Yellow. Heads up, Thalia!
Thalia: Blue-
*loud crash in the distance*
Thalia: Blue 2.
Lacey: Wait, why is Latarsha yelling? Holy fish and chips?
Sebastian: We already knew she was weird, deary.
Latarsha: I'M COMING!
Thalia: Where's she going?
Latarsha: Challenge is over, camera man, follow me.
Brock: Who won? Me by default.
Lacey: Why would it be you?
Latarsha: I'm here, what happened again? My phone died before I could hear the explanation.
Lacey: Wait, someone died? I've gotta see this.
Sebastian: That's rather morbid.
Lacey: I will end you, old man.
Latarsha: What the hell-
Brock: Damn.
Thalia: I is speechless.
Brock: Where'd you learn that, Anime School?
Tiger: Well, as you can tell, the whole garage is a mess.
Grape: I didn't do nothing, I'm just here for symmetry.
Jane: *gasps, shivering in fear* I-I-I'm sorry.
Latarsha: Hold on, what's that in the pool?
Tiger: Funny story. Jane?
Grape: Jane, please. I'd love to watch you get fired.
Jane: I drove-I drove the car-the car into the p-p-pool. I was getting coffee, okay?
Latarsha: Let me get this straight, you drove a car through a window, and into a pool. You know there were rocks in front of that window, right?
Jane: I...I kinda moved them...yesterday.
Latarsha: You. You moved rocks. Hard to believe, but that's not the point. That was the owner's prize possession. Snake skin print and all.
Jane: I-I-I-I didn't mean it.
Brock: What's all the fuss...oh.
Lacey: What is it, Brock? What? How?
Sebastian: My dear lord!
Latarsha: Well, uh, it was all Jane.
Thalia: Jane? Ha ha ha ha ha...fool.
Lacey: This is tragic!
Tiger: Don't I know it, they trusted me! Now I let the stupid camera assistant drive a car.
Jane: I'm sorry, I get it.
Grape: Do you even have your license?
Jane: Uh....no.
Matthew: Well isn't that dandy.
Lacey: Matty! Where have you been?
Matthew: Sleeping. What else?
Latarsha: Well, I'm calling for a taxi. We're going to the library. Then we'll catch a flight back to the main house.
Lacey: Oh shit.
Sebastian: Oh goody.
Brock: Do you even know where the main house is?
Latarsha: Oh yeah, sure. It's, you know, in Main House Land.
Matthew: Yeah, great. Hopefully Tiger will be there, or at least Grape.
Latarsha: Actually, the two of them have business to attend to, but you'll have...Jess, or whatever her name is.
~~~
"Jess": Welcome, to the Library of Starlight Shores..or whatever.
Lacey: *grumbles* That's not it's name.
Matthew: Lacey, what's up?
Lacey: Oh, I just wanted to go home right now, but I guess not.
Brock: I think this is a public service, not changing into my normal clothes.
Lacey: I hate this.
Thalia: Me too. I miss my clothes.
....
Lacey: So, Sebastian, time to talk.
Thalia: Yeah! Time to open mouths!
Lacey: Not that far, Thalia.
Sebastian: Does the camera have to be on for this.
*Camera Man nods*
Sebastian: Well, I'm out. You can't tell me proof that your sister works here, then I'm out.
Lacey: Wow, judgy. You've been so rude this week.
Thalia: Yeah, so rude. Rude to 100%.
Lacey: Again, too far.
Sebastian: Unless someone tells me some evidence, I'm going to the police.
Thalia: Then I'll go to the police too, and sell you out as some freak.
Lacey: For once, not too far.
Random Woman: Yeah, Stella, right? She's here often, working and just reading.
Lacey: OMG! Thank you! Would you like an autograph?
Random Woman: Maybe when the real Lacey walks in.
Lacey: See? Sebastian, Stella is always here, and I have new evidence.
Thalia: Evidence? Oooh, this is like an investigation! Can I be the sidekick?
Lacey: Sure.
Lacey: Well, I'm going to walk away now. Sebastian, if you want to talk about conspiracy theories, look for someone else. I'm out.
Sebastian: You don't want to lie to my face any longer?
Lacey: Cut it out, old man. I'm out.
Thalia: Wait! Sherlock, I want to interrogate him further.
Lacey: That's fine. I'm sick of talking.
Tiger: Nice transparent tree.
Thalia: What do you know?
*grabs lamp*
Sebastian: Calm down.
*Thalia drops the lamp*
Thalia: I thought you were my friend, and then you attacked Lacey. That was rude.
Sebastian: I am deeply sorry, but I thought she was lying.
Thalia: You shouldn't think....about what she says. She wouldn't lie.
Sebastian: How do you know?
Thalia: Because I trust her, and I know that she may have problems, yes, but you shouldn't judge her for them. Lacey isn't perfect.
Sebastian: Fine, I won't start any more arguments, love.
Thalia: Detective Thalia, on the case.
Brock: Mhhmmm, interesting.
Random Woman: *types furiously*
Brock: You right there, lady!?
Thalia: Oh Brock. Were you listening in on us?
Brock: Of course...not.
...
Matthew: Hey, Jess, wait up.
Jess: Catch me when I reach the top.
Matthew: You could have turned around-oh whatever, exercise.
Jess: What is it?
Matthew: I've been meaning to talk to you.
Jess: As long as you don't grill me with questions.
Matthew: It's about the whole car incident.
Jess: Oh, that. Yeah?
Matthew: Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you weren't there. Where were you?
Jess: I knew someone would ask.
Matthew: What's wrong?
Jess: Last night, when all of you were either upstairs or downstairs, I was in bed, with a raging fever, and I just couldn't do anything about it. I just slept, and slept, and slept. I didn't even wake at the sound of the crash.
Matthew: That's horrible.
Matthew: I hope you're getting better, as least you can walk now.
Jess: Yeah, I'm getting there. I'll be okay soon.
Matthew: I hope so, I don't want you to be sick.
Jess: Aww, Matty.
....
Lacey: Okay, I'm alone. Time to call in for a chat with the sister.
Real Stella: Pick up, Lacey, I know you're probably sun bathing, but I need you right now.
Real Lacey: OMG SIS! Where are you?
Real Stella: Funny story, you forced me to be you on a reality show to gain popularity. Sorry, but you failed.
Real Lacey: WHAT? You're evicted?
Real Stella: No, I'm breaking cover. I've already told one person, and someone else is onto me.
Real Lacey: WHAT? How dare they.
Real Stella: I know, but I'm not holding up. This is the first time I don't want to be in a library.
Real Lacey: Honey, that's me everyday.
Real Stella: Can you promise you'll be there when I get voted out?
Real Lacey: Let me tan first, then I'll be right over.
Real Stella: I was right! You're holidaying!
Real Lacey: I'm sorry. My friends asked me to join them on their private beach.
Real Stella: Maybe I wanted to hang at the beach.
Real Lacey: You hate the beach!
Real Stella: I guess that's true.
Real Lacey: I gotta go, bye sis.
*she hangs up*
Real Stella: Bye.
....
Latarsha: It's time to board the plane!
Matthew: Where's that coming from?
Jess: No clue. Let's go.
Thalia: Why are you sitting next to me now?
Sebastian: I have no clue. Must have been the old brain of mine.
Thalia: Leave me alone.
Brock: Guess it's time to leave then. Does anyone have a shirt?
Random Woman: No sorry. *angrily typing*
Brock: I didn't ask you!
~~~
Latarsha: Wow, this place is so...oceanic.
Grape: That's the point.
Matthew: Aren't we gathered here for something important?
Lacey: The HOH maybe?
Matthew: That, right.
Jess: My eyes won't stay open, I think I need some more sleep.
Matthew: Are you okay?
Jess: No, seriously, I need to hold them open.
Brock: Just say my name now and we can all go to sleep.
Thalia: Your name? That's quite a statement, hottie.
Brock: Wait, what?
Tiger: Oh right. The HOH is....
Lacey: Oh, Thalia, I meant to tell you a story about what happened on the plane.
Tiger: We'll wait.
Lacey: So, I was ordering salmon on a bed of cress, when this absurd man-
Brock: Hey, Lacey, can we get the end of your stupid story.
Sebastian: Story? I nearly fell asleep.
Lacey: Hey!
Thalia: Tell me tomorrow morning, kay?
Lacey: Okay, fine. Continue with the ceremony then.
Tiger: As I was saying, the winner of a random draw to decide who was the HOH was..........
Grape: It was..............
Latarsha: The winner was...............
Tiger: Thalia and Lacey! Congratulations to the both of you!
Thalia: Woo! Who's the best first time winner? This girl.
Lacey: Yeah! Look at me now! I'm the queen.
Grape: Ahem, no, that's Beyonce.
Lacey: Shut up, I'm happy, okay?
Brock: Bravo.
Sebastian: They only won some silly young ones poll.
Brock: It was sarcasm.
*Matthew and Lacey kiss*
Jess: Seriously. Right now, they were that happy. Wow.
Matthew: Well done, Lacey.
Lacey: Thanks for that, Matt. *wink*
Brock: Congrats, Thalia. I'm happy for you.
Thalia: I'm happy for me too.
Thalia: I'm very happy for me.
Latarsha: Well I'm out. Where's the host bedroom?
Tiger: You mean the hotel? Down the road, to your left.
Grape: Latarsha, I'm coming too. Wait up.
Latarsha: You can walk.
Jess: Soon, however, everyone will be back, because soon, the finale will be upon us.
Tiger: And we will crown a winner.